Swirlywhirlyworld

As a guy, if your gf earns more than u, will u expect her to pay more? Calvin would. He said she should.

I do not understand his mentality.

It’s getting to me each time he asks me to pay him after dating. He said he’ll send me home: in a cab. He asks me for cab fare the next day — “hey u still owe me yesterday’s cab fare.”

I’m not paying in full, yes, but always at least 80% of my share. In front of his friends, he will act like he’s paying for me : only to ask me to pay him later in private. It’s getting to me. And I dun see what is wrong with my mentality. I understand his situation of having liabilities like rent to pay..so we hardly spend on anything. We hardly watch a movie. We hardly go out. But it’s not enough. Telling him how it gets me each time he asks for money..to him, that’s materialistic.

Am I materialistic? When I do not mind being with a guy with nothing? When I never expect him to pay for me for everything? When I never, ever asks him to get me anything: bag, shoes, whatever?

A guy will be the head of the family. He should be the one putting in more finances to support a family; and dating, if a test of his capability and willingness to do so. This is my thinking. Raise ur hand if u agree with me.

As a girl, will you want to date a guy who expects you to pay more if you earn more than him? Please comment.

This is with regards to my previous post. First of all..that was a “what if” question. The only thing I’m expecting……… is my exams And while I may have sounded used, and making Calv sound like a real jerk, I calmed down and thought about things rationally.

We’re both not ready for marriage: financially or anything else. Forcing 2 mentally unprepared people to get together for a lifetime will only lead to the following equation:

unprepared person 1 + unprepared person 2 = unhappily ever after

Heh. Funny how I mentioned this before: I never believe in shotgun marriages. Though there may be exceptional cases where both may live happily ever after, are the majority of those happy? Getting together because you “have to” ? And not because both are already in the right frame of mind for marriage?

And the last point is..do I already know if he’s the one I want to marry anyway?

When you ask a guy you love what will he do if you got pregnant..and he says, ” I dunno. I’d most likely ask you to abort it.” Then give all the excuses that he is not financially stable to support a family (but is not willing to work towards a more stable financial status)..should you still be with him?

When he tells you that he cannot give you any promises..will you still be with him?

I’m the love fool who decided to wait for a better outcome. I’m not ashamed to let the world know what a fool I am..and what Calv said to me..

There has been a strange case at my place recently: a stray male cat that looks very similar to my own female pet cat manage to find its way up to my place (note: I live on the 24th storey, and we found him right at my door hiding beside our shoe cabinet). How did he manage to find his way up in the first place? By lift? Or does he have such great determination to walk all the way up?

You might be thinking that this is just mere conincidence. Not if you find that this cat has been here for at least 2 weeks. Kind neighbours would initially carry him downstairs, thinking he got lost. Thing is, he is always back here the very next day. And purring by my door.

Is he searching for love? That’s great determination I would say. Especially if he walks all the way up! I’m proud my cat has such a great charm that could be sniffed 24 storeys away..heh. But I do pity this poor lil’ creature. Each time he would peer into my place like he longs to be kept..(let me know if anyone is keen to adopt this devoted emotional creature)..

It brings me to this question: will a human have such devotion in love?

He sits all alone..waiting. Waiting for love.

Despite all my rants..

I love him. I don’t know why..there is no why..

A downright faithful cousin just told me he’s thinking of buying a ring for his gf (of 1 month) in 3 years’ time. Wow. He’s my age and thinking of marriage already? And he only started his relationship with her for a month?! Wow. I’m envious. How many guys below 30 can think like that?

I told my mum about that amazing thing my cuzzie told me. And as you can guess, she started nagging at me. Urgh. Shouldn’t have told her. She started asking me if my bf has ever thought of that. Answer is no. So what am I supposed to do? Rush him to make plans to marry me? That will prolly chase him away in no time. It takes 2 hands to clap, and I definitely can only wait, and hope, for any guy to ever pop that question to me.

My cuzzie is the 1% of the whole male population. The rest of the 99%, are what most of us girls meet. Guys that shudder at the word marriage — a big kid themselves, and a big kid wouldn’t want to grow up and look after another kid eh?

What can you do when a guy shuns from this commitment? Not that I’m desperate to settle down, but there seems to be nothing I can do but wait and see eh? Maybe he’s just someone with me to stall my time before I meet The One? But is there “The One” in the first place? I don’t know. I’m unsure about a guy who’s unsure about committing. Let God decide..

I went to a D&D with Calv last night. As expected, it will be sitting around a table full of strangers where everyone start a lil’ networking. What I wasn’t expecting was how quiet I became.

The moment I walked to my designated table, I realised I have nothing to introduce myself as. While Calv was shaking everyone’s hands, interacting for the sake of it, and exchanging namecards, one person asked Calv, “and the one next to you is..?”

“Oh, this is my girlfriend.”

Ah. End of story. I can only politely smile and shake her hand. Nothing to introduce myself as, no namecards to show, absolutely nothing. And I stayed that way till the end of the dinner.

It’s a turn in my life. A silent force telling me, “Hey! Get a job! You need to get yourself out in the workforce again!” Yeeap. I am missing the interaction with strangers. Missing the networking. Missing the pretty OL dressing. Missing the spending power. I need to get myself out again..before I turn into a hermit.

I was dreading CNY. The thought of it coming just didn’t make me look forward to it. And I started looking for people to hang out with me even before the dawn of New Year’s eve. Just to get myself away from all the lonliness I was expecting.

Many people did not understand what I was getting at. The common response I got was, “oh, ur bf go back m’sia issit? ” Yes, my boyfriend was away for near a whole week; but that wasn’t what I was exactly dreading. I was dreading the quietness of my Chinese New Year. No exact gatherings, and any gathering, seems like a gathering of..strangers. I hated this quietness amongst all the noise in other households. It felt lonely. Very lonely. It meant staying at home most of the time: cos’ everyone seemed to be busy with visiting or just didn’t want to go out.

My only comfort is to see my granny. Perhaps that is all that I looked forward to every Chinese New Year. I love her hugs..very, very warm and loving hugs that only a Granny can provide.  Yet once I was away from visiting my granny..the lonely feeling sank in again.

I’m glad, though, that this year I found a friend who was willing to spend almost all his time during CNY to spend with me. Loners meet loners? Perhaps. A friend who has always been willing to meet up with me when I felt the loneliest..all these years. I’m deeply touched, and appreciate his efforts. Don’t treat yourself as a spare, my friend. You are not. It’s a promise here from me that I will meet you, whether I have a bf or not, and not only when my bf is not free for me. Thank you, dear friend..and this isn’t a dream. I’m learning, that he isn’t my all. I need friends, and I definitely need a friend like you.

Ceri says, “let it be..let it be..let it be..let it be..”

Why have I been silly enough to tie myself down? It could be the prayer..it helps:)